Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Not Dead Yet...


A Time to catch up with life...





Man it’s been a while since I showed this blog any love. This winter sucked hard. My seasonal depression hit me the hardest it’s ever done before.  Life changes so fast it’s impossible to catch up. My 2 (all)day jobs have been exploding making my already long work week, even longer. My son is growing like a weed, which is killing me because I feel like I’m missing out on his childhood by working so much, but I can’t do anything about that ATM unfortunately. Thank God I get the weekend to be with him.

On top of that, I learned a valuable lesson on being a commission painter. As soon as you take something you love and monetize it, it becomes work. It becomes another deadline and another level of anxiety to cope with. The shitty thing is, being a paid artist with depression/anxiety issues means that I cannot take medication. I’ve tried before and all it did was fog my head up so much that I couldn’t do my job. It’s hard to be creative and think “outside-the-box” when you have a blanket wrapped around your brain. So I (and my forgiving wife) just have to deal with my ups and downs and find creative outlets for me to work with to level my emotions out.

This is where I get to the point. In an attempt to reignite the creative juices and shake off some of this doldrum I’ve gotten myself into; I started digging projects out that I haven’t finished yet and am officially putting them back on the table.  I fell in love with these unfinished projects again and am itching to make more progress on them.












































Plus a whole Vampire Counts army I haven't even taken any pictures of yet!


Well, wish me luck. Hopefully I can get them all done in 2014.



Sidenote: My amateur sci-fi/horror/elecktronik music project is still going strong. New tracks loaded up weekly. Check it out



27 comments:

  1. Heya man! Glad to hear you're still out there, bummed to hear that things have been low. Definitely looking forward to seeing more of your amazing model work and I've really been digging the tunes - keep it up!

    Cheers my friend!

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  2. Glad to see you back (in any capacity)! But sad to hear how things have been so rough. Your blog was one of the first I started to check really regularly and convinced me to start my own, and have found that additional connection to the community really has helped inspire me. I can really see how starting to take on commissions would steal away a lot of the fun of what had been strictly a hobby.

    Just looking over those unfinished projects again amazes me. The amount of inspiring and fantastic work you have there, even unfinished is incredible and more then most in this hobby do in years. And I feel lucky that you take the time to share it with us. Keep up the great work!

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  3. Great to hear from you again! Hopefully you can pull yourself out of depression. Keep strong!

    Your work continues to amaze and inspire me. Your Dark Eldar are easily some of the nicest I have seen. I love your retro raiders and Harlequins. I look forward to seeing your progress on all your projects!

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    1. Thanks Adam! I recently started gaming again with my DE, so I'm feeling the motivation to finish them finally :)

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  4. Welcome back. I feel you on the seasonal depression, it really takes it out of you.

    I look forward to seeing what becomes of the Dark Harlequins!

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    1. Thanks! I think I need one of those damn seasonal depression lamps!

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  5. Keep going, I can't begin to imagine how tough it is but take solace in the amazing work already done. The Mariners Blight stuff you've done is fantastic and at the risk of spoiling the surprise it's featured in my Old Stuff Day review this coming March 2nd. I love it and you should be happy, motivated and proud whenever you look at such creative endeavours.

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    1. Thanks Dave! I look forward to the article and thanks for the support.

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  6. Sorry to hear the season has you down. While I spend a lot of time indoors, I know how much a few rays of sunshine can brighten my day. There is so much fantastic stuff in these conversions here it will be wonderful to see them get a little bit of paint over the coming months. My personal favorites are the Lelith, the SOH Praetors, and that wicked rotor cannon squad!

    All the best.

    Cheers
    Dave

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  7. Thanks Dave! Lelith, the Talos and the Ravager are the first on my list. They all have base coats on already and need detailing.

    SOH is going to get some serious love soon, but I'm going to airbrush the whole dam army at the same time. Insanity!

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    1. I'm not sure why, but I'm always interested to hear how people are mixing their greens for the SOH. I'm yet to hear two identical mixes. Looking forward to seeing more of your work mate: )

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    2. Agreed, I have yet to see 2 identical techniques. Some are brighter, some are darker, some are more blue and some are more sea foam green. It's a very tricky color!

      I'm using Vallejo Air Gunship Green as a base, but from there I'm not sure yet :)

      http://cdn2.bigcommerce.com/server4900/180d4/products/638/images/964/VAL895__07044.1331659540.1280.1280.jpg

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  8. Ha! And I thought my queue of minis was long. Good, good. Nice to see others drowning in minis too. Your are lucky yours are all of such a high quality. There isn't a model in that post I wouldn't want to paint. Actually, it must be torture. Nice tunes, BTW.

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  9. Glad you're back and doing well, the minis look fantastic as always!

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  10. My missus gets depression real bad, and is a writer so I feel your pain on the no medication part, she did use them for a couple of years, but killed her writer brain, and when that had knocked on I don't think they had any net gain in the end. Still, keep up the awesome painting and projects, you are one of the most talented painters I have seen.

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    1. My wife is also a writer with the similar issues. It's tough, but she does understand when I go through it, what it feels like.

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  11. It'll be good to see you back and hopefully feeling better! I've missed chatting with you and the other guys in the chat. Is there any chance that you might put the chat back up sometime?

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    1. Chat is still open, the room didn't disappear, I just don't go on there anymore because it's too distracting during the work day and I've been extremely busy lately. Psy is on http://thedarkcityforum.chatango.com pretty regularly. Sometimes I pop on there, but not often anymore.

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  12. I'm still dropping in to see some of your awesome miniatures from time to time even if I only play Warmachine nowadays.

    Keep up the good work!

    Cheers

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    1. Thanks Speedfreak, you always had killer conversions for DE.

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  13. Brilliant work, particularly your Lelith conversion.

    Looking though your previous posts your Court of the Archon models are stunning conversions as well.

    Rathstar

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    1. Thanks Rathstar! Lelith is on the table and Hopefully I'll finish her in the next month or so.

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  14. Great to have you back. I have always loved all your work, and have even stolen some of it for my own Dark Eldar! Depression sucks. I have dealt with it myself as well. Hope you are pulling through.

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